today i am 38 weeks, to my knowledge i am making no progress, but i don’t even know if that is for sure because my midwife hasn’t checked me at all.. i thought she would at 37 weeks but nope.. just the regular, heartbeat, blood pressure, weight and so on..
i’m in constant pain and i have these weird fears.. frankly, i really had my heart set on breastfeeding my son, cause i loved breastfeeding my daughter, but he’s going to be born with a cleft lip/palate and they told me i most likely won’t be able to breastfeed, they encourage me to pump but want to supplement him with formula after he’s born and still in the hospital…?? i find that depressing..
and then i have this horrible fear that i feel like crap about because i know he’s going to be born with a cleft i fear rejecting him, i can’t imagine i really would, i’ve been so looking forward to meeting him, but i have dreams where after i have the baby i don’t want to hold him or anything.. sigh.. I guess this isn’t a question…

Tagged with:

Filed under: how to lower blood pressure