38 weeks today and generally just depressed?
today i am 38 weeks, to my knowledge i am making no progress, but i don’t even know if that is for sure because my midwife hasn’t checked me at all.. i thought she would at 37 weeks but nope.. just the regular, heartbeat, blood pressure, weight and so on..
i’m in constant pain and i have these weird fears.. frankly, i really had my heart set on breastfeeding my son, cause i loved breastfeeding my daughter, but he’s going to be born with a cleft lip/palate and they told me i most likely won’t be able to breastfeed, they encourage me to pump but want to supplement him with formula after he’s born and still in the hospital…?? i find that depressing..
and then i have this horrible fear that i feel like crap about because i know he’s going to be born with a cleft i fear rejecting him, i can’t imagine i really would, i’ve been so looking forward to meeting him, but i have dreams where after i have the baby i don’t want to hold him or anything.. sigh.. I guess this isn’t a question…
Tagged with: blood pressure • cleft lip palate • crap • dreams • fears • hasn • heart • heartbeat • horrible fear • midwife
Filed under: how to lower blood pressure
First, let me normalize your fears. I had nightmares that my baby was born with tentacles instead of legs for my entire pregnancy. I knew that my husband didn’t want another baby, and still doesn’t and I cried for the first four months. You have a situation that isn’t what you hoped for, in a very drastic way. Just so you know,..you CAN breastfeed him once his corrective surgery has happened. In some instances, depending on his degree of cleft, he might even be able to nurse BEFORE. Get in touch with a La Leche League leader who can connect you with a breastfeeding mom that has already experienced this. Believe me, you will be surprised at the bizarre circumstances that some women continue to nurse through. Having said that, you do have some challenges ahead. But you will NOT be challenged in your love for him. As you face the coming days and weeks, and your delivery, you’re going to be challenged again, and again. Give yourself permission to grief the happy perfect setting you will not have, do this now, and you will be better prepared for the challenges ahead. My first daughter had a hemangioma on her head. It grew and couldn’t be removed. People stared, some asked questions, mostly I got pitied. But, the hemangioma shrunk, and now, with a full head of thick dirty-blonde hair, you’d never know. I got over my angst by nuzzling her A LOT, and by touching the hemangioma. Accepting what IS and moving forward is a hard pill to swallow, but it is the most direct path to "healthy," and the easiest way to end the depression. I wish you the best.
doesn’t joaquin phoenix have a cleft lip?
he is hot.
At 38 weeks, it is so normal to feel exhausted and a bit depressed. I can imagine it would be all the more stressful and difficult knowing that your child will have complications at birth. If you are already feeling blue, you are at a much higher chance for post-partum depression.
Your ob/gyn can recommend a counselor who you can unload all these feelings to. Your fears are totally human, and you should not feel like crap. In the event you do have trouble when your son is born, you’ll have someone trained to help you through it.
I love the person above’s response. He is hot.
There are no imperfect babies; only imperfect parents. You already sound like a perfect parent for reaching out. Do what the doctors recommend and your son will be fine. Love him and kiss him and hug him.
Bless your heart! Sweetheart, that’s quite a load of worry your carrying! Your baby will be beautiful to you, and IF he is born with a deformity, plastic surgeons are so able to fix him right up! I’m going to believe that there’s not a thing wrong with him, because doctors can be wrong, you know! So put your feet up, put some lotion on your belly and massage that little one until you feel better inside and out!
Week 38 is very hard. Prepare yourself as good as possible for his cleft palate. You will definitely not reject him. You will be so sorry for him and so protective and you are going to do just fine. You have reason to be scared, it is going to be very difficult for you. Luckily have are an expierenced mother and that will pull you through.
It is not that long any more. Hang in there! And good luck to you.
well i know someone that was born with a cleft lip. he had surgery and he looks normal now
idk about your depression
dont worry …………..by Gods mercy .maybe he would never have a cleft lip
I’ll be 38 weeks in a few days and the doctor just checks the same old stuff too. And havent told me anything like if I go over my due date or what’s going on. This is my first kid and I’m really nervous and freaking out over how painful it’s going to be cause I havent even had any Braxton Hicks or anything. I’ve never changed a diaper in my life and every little kid I’ve ever been around has hated me and I’ve never really liked kids much myslef until my little sister had Brailyn 7 months and I love the little girl to death..but I’ve still never changed a daiper or made a bottle. And I want to breastfeed but I’m just freaked out cause I heard it can be pretty painful. Sorry this wasnt really an answer…just venting like you I guess?
Sweetie, you will be okay trust me. She probably won’t check till your about 39-40 weeks along. It’s to bad she wont, I always begged mine to some do alot some dont.
Yup, the constant pain is normal sweetie don’t stress, it will just make it worse okay?
Ya, that is kinda depressing that he will have a cleft lip, but just remember that God has plans for everyone, and it is fixable if you decide to get surgery done on him. Hey, breastmilk is better then formula even if your having to pump to give it to him.
Why would you reject him, hes a human, he’s a little precious baby that belongs to you, and only you. This is depression that happens to everybody when there pregnant hang in there
E-mail me at medbutterflykisses@yahoo.com if you need to talk anymore. Hang in there
Seems to me you may have pre-partem depression. I got it during my first pregnancy. It’s very hard to go through a pregnancy and it just never seems to end. I don’t know what it’s like to be in your situation with your upcoming little one, but I’m sure it’s very hard. Try to take it easy, you’re almost to the end. After your pregnancy is over, talk to your doctor about getting on an anti-depressant to help you through it all. I hope your delivery goes well and your new little guy will be here soon! I’m sure you will love him as much as you do your daughter. But please, look into some help as it’s hard to snap out of a depression some times! Good luck!
It may not be a question directly, but I am hearing worry and concern. You will love your child no matter what because it is yours. If you are concerned about the way things are going with your mid wife then go to ER and ask for an exam.
Oh hon! I think your fears are very natural, but I’m sure that when your baby is put into your arms you’ll love him so much.
You might check with La Leche League about the possibilities of breastfeeding a baby with a cleft. It probably depends on the severity of the cleft.
You should be able to pump milk and feed it by bottle. Then, maybe if the cleft is repaired he might eventually latch on.
Anyway, good luck, and enjoy your baby.
hang in there. once he’s born, that beautiful little face will be perfectly irreplaceable. and believe me, that tiny little person will mean just as much to you as your first. as for your progress, you should ask your midwife (i had to) that’s what she’s there for. chances are, she will have no problems doing so. good luck, and don’t worry, it won’t be long now. Enjoy what time you have to relax.