when I was younger, I thought this was just a nightmare, but I question it now, I was about 11 years old, and I had this "dream" that I was being molested, and I couldn’t do anything about it, I couldn’t move, I wasn’t sure if it was a dream or not, I found out recently that my "ex-uncle" is a child molester and he was around me A LOT, so I’m questioning it quite a bit, about 2-3 years after that, I started having nightmares of being raped and strangled, chased after and killed, after a while I caught myself fighting sleep, became an insomniac, I have a fear of the dark, i’ll go through phases where I will be so anxious, I will check every part of my bedroom before i go to bed, make sure no one is hiding in the dark, I walk out to my car at night with my keys in between my fingers so i can stab anybody in the eye if they sneak up on me, i run inside, sleep is difficult to come by, I fall asleep watching movies because I can’t sleep in the dark
I can’t concentrate in school, I have massive chest pains, sometimes brought on by nothing, often brought on by anxiety and always made worse with anxiety, I’m so tired by the end of my "chest attacks" I can’t see straight and I konk out, I’ve been off and on sick for what seems like forever, I’ve went to doctors for my chest, first doctor I went to was at an emergency care clinic, he couldn’t find anything wrong on the EKG, started asking me stupid questions about depression, I got pissed off and answered one question "yes, with these chest pains and jack*** doctors like you I would like to kill myself" so he treatened to bakeract me, I had a follow up at a psych and she was trying to cure my insomnia and gave me high blood pressure meds, I took myself off of them because they were not working and when I found out what they where I was like WTH??!!, next doctor i went to was all for me taking myself off the meds and blamed my chest pains on mitral valve prolapse, but there is a majority of people out there that have the same exact thing and don’t know it, I went to a cardiologist he found nothing that would be causing my pains, my mother suffers from the same thing, but hers seemed to go away after she dropped 110lbs(claps for mom) but I am healthy weight.
I have a feeling the anxiety is causing the entire everything, but my parents are convinced that there is nothing wrong with me, I don’t need to talk to someone, I don’t need help, I’ve had an ambulence called on me TWICE while I was at school because of this. My parents don’t wanna take anymore action, they don’t seem to care to, how am I supposed to tell my parents that this may be the cause?
what am I supposed to do? I just don’t know anymore… I need help
yes, I am slightly depressed, but I’m a 16 year old girl, I guess it’s just normal