> >>>
> >>>
> >>> AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABL ES BY GETTING
> >>> SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
> >>>
> >>>
> >>> AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT
> >>> BY USING THE SINK.
> >>>
> >>>
> >>> FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND
> >>> BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS.
> >>> REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.
> >>>
> >>>
> >>> A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU
> >>> FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE
> >>> BUTTON.
> >>>
> >>>
> >>> IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. YOU’LL
> >>> BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
> >>>
> >>>
> >>> YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE – WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE.
> >>>
> >>> IF IT DOESN’T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40.
> >>>
> >>> IF IT SHOULDN’T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
> >>>
> >>>
> >>> IF YOU CAN’T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU’VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL
> >>> PROBLEM.
> >>>
> >>>
> >>> DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES – NOT REALLY GOOD
> >>> FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE
> > STAIRS.
> >>>

God i hope i dont run out of thumbs up on this level..

1. If you are choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat.
2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the shower.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. You only need two tools in life – WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn’t move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.
8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don’t panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer, and you will forget about the toothache.

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:

A. You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.

B. If it doesn’t move and should, use the WD-40.

C. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.

Remember:

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

1. If you are choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.

2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. You only need two tools in life – WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn’t move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.

8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Daily Thought: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES. NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS

1. IF YOU’RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.

2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE
TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

3. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT – USE THE SINK.

4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU’LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

REMEMBER – EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.

1. IF YOU’RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.

2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

3. AVOID ARGUMENTS ABOUT THE TOILET SEAT – USE THE SINK.

4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF
LAXATIVES. THEN YOU’LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE – WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN’T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN’T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

8. IF YOU CAN’T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU’VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU’LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE – WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN’T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN’T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

7. IF YOU CAN’T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU’VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

1. IF YOU’RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.

2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

3. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT – USE THE SINK.

4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU’LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE – WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN’T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN’T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

8. REMEMBER – EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.

9. IF YOU CAN’T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU’VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES – NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

Ok, so I couldn’t wait till Friday…so here:

1. IF YOU’RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.

2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

3. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU’LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE – WD-40 AND 3M DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN’T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN’T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE 3M DUCT TAPE.

8. REMEMBER – EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.
9. IF YOU CAN’T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU’VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

-If you are choking on an ice cube, don’t panic, simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto, the blockage will be almost instantly removed.
-Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away
-A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will
prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep
after you hit the snooze button
-Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a
hammer and you will forget all about the toothache
-If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of
laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough
-For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use an egg timer

Hope I made you laugh, but plz dont try at home.
Why wouldnt they be jokes… they are in the joke section

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don’t panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with your partner about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn’t move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.

9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

11. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

12. And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.

13. The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends — if they’re okay, then it’s you.

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.

2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. You only need two tools in life – WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn’t move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.

8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Daily Thought:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES, NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.

2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.

3. Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers ~ simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough.

7. You only need two tools in life – WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.

8. Remember – everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

9. If you can’t f

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don’t panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegies by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with your signigicant other about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of Exlax, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad tooth ache? Hit your big toe with a hammer, then you will forget about the tooth ache.

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don’t panic. Simply pour a cup of
>boiling water down your throat and presto, the blockage will be almost
>instantly removed.
>
>2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
>someone else to hold them while you chop away.
>
>3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply
>using the sink.
>
>4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for
>a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use
>a timer.
>
>5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you
>from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze
>button.
>
>6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you
>will be afraid to cough.
>
>7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will
>forget all about the toothache.
8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really
>are:
>
>You only need two tools – WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn’t move and
>should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.
>
>9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
>
>10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
>
>
>Thoughts for the day:
>
>If you woke up breathing, congratulations. You have another chance.
>
>Be nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need
>them to empty your bedpan.
>
>Some folks are like slinkies…they are not really good for anything but
>they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight
>of stairs.
this is not mine, got an email from my cousin

1. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.

2. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. About lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

3. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

4. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

6. You only need two tools in life – WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it
doesn’t move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.

These are worth remembering!!

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don’t panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:

You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.

If it doesn’t move and should, use the WD-40.

If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.

Remember:

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don’t panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with your partner about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn’t move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.

9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

11. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

12. And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.

13. The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends — if they’re okay, then it’s you.

1. If you’re choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water
down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.

2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else
to hold while you chop.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using
the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a
few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a
timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from
rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you’ll be
afraid to cough.

7. You only need two tools in life – WD-40 and Duct Tape! If it doesn’t
move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the
duct tape.

8. If you can’t fix it with a hammer, you’ve got an electrical problem.

Did you get a good laugh?

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don’t panic. Simply pour a cup of
boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost
instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply
using the sink.

4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while,
thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from
rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be
afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget about the toothache.

8. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

9. AND….. Sometimes we just need to remember what The Rules of Life really are: You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn’t, use the duct tape.

10. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

11. And finally… Be really good to your family and friends. You never know
when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.

1. If you are choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.

2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. You only need two tools in life – WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn’t move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.

8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Daily Thought: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES. NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don’t panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with your partner about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink. (ewwww!)

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache
8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn’t move and should,use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.

9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

11. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

>12. And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan

1.If you are choking on an ice cube, don’t panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be
instantly removed.
2.Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3.High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
4.A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.
5.If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
6.Have a bad toothache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget about the toothache.
7.The Rules of Life really are: You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn’t use the duct tape.
8.B good to family and friends. You never know when you need them to empty your bedpan.

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don’t panic. Simply pour a cup of
boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost
instantly remove itself.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
someone else to hold them, while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply
using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for
a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a
timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you
from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you
will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will
forget all about the toothache.

8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what th
8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really
are: You only need two tools – WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn’t move and
should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.

AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

4 A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU’LL BE AFRAID TO
COUGH.

6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE – WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN’T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN’T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

7. IF YOU CAN’T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU’VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES – NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS

AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN
YOU’LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE – WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT
DOESN’T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN’T MOVE AND
DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

7. IF YOU CAN’T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU’VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL
PROBLEM.

Are you believing this…..?

Health > Diseases & Conditions > Skin Conditions
Peace.

AMAZING HOME REMEDIES

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY
GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE
TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT
YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR
VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK
WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE
SNOOZE BUTTON.

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF
LAXATIVES. THEN YOU’LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE – WD-40 AND DUCT
TAPE. IF IT DOESN’T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN’T MOVE AND
DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

7. IF YOU CAN’T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU’VE GOT AN
ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT:
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES – NOT REALLY GOOD FOR
ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS

These were e-mailed to me, I thought you would like them:

SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. If you are choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.

2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. You only need two tools in life – WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn’t move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.

8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Daily Thought: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES. NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING….. BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don’t panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto, the blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. You can avoid arguments with the Mrs. About lifting the toilet seat just by using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use an egg timer.

5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget all about the toothache.

8.Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:

In life, you only need two tools – WD-40 and Duct Tape.
If it doesn’t move but should, use the WD-40.
If it should not move and does, use the duct tape.

9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

Thought for the day:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES….. THEY ARE NOT REALLY
GOOD FOR ANYTHING… BUT THEY STILL BRING A SMILE TO
YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS
This is for all of you who need a good laugh! I hope you enjoy these!

I have high blood pressure, and I am currently taking a mild hypertension medication called Methyldopa 250 mg three times per day. This medication is appropriate for me because I’m breastfeeding. My question is: what over-the-counter remedy or remedies can I safely take for the following symptoms: sneezing; runny nose; nasal congestion; coughing. I saw on a commercial that Coricidin is safe for patients with high blood pressure, but when I purchased it, the box indicated that it would only treat chest congestion and cough; it won’t help sneezing, runny nose or nasal congestion. Does anyone have any suggestions? Thank you.

First of all I NEVER go to the doctor but I get a routine physical each year. Last December 4th I had been sick for 2 weeks with a bad cough and bronchitis-like symptoms. I finally was told go to doctor by my concerned employer because they felt there might be MOLD in our office. I went that very day to my DR. of two years and he did chest xray and prescribed antibiotic. That treatment worked and I also found there was no MOLD. More than a week later the DR. contacted me to come in for treatment of high blood pressure recorded during the Dec 4 visit. By the time I was called I was recovered and did not have high BP and declined to see the DR. for this again. He wrote on Feb. 18th he had discharged me as his patient due to ‘non-compliance’. I ask you, why did he not treat the high blood pressure the moment I was in distress???? And why dismiss me now, as I do NOT have High BP.
I ran out of room on the first detail. To answer the question I know I do NOT have HP because my husband does and we both monitor our BP. I do it with a separate cuff to encourage him. That is coincidental to my situation too and I wanted to add it. My husband’s BP is 100% under control through medication due to his work, which like my employer require yearly physical. Thanks.
As I said, this DR. did not even address my BP at time of visit. Where was the concern then? I was taking 3 different OTC medicatations: Dayquil, Nyquil, Robitussin by the time I was seen and those were making me sick at my stomach and I coudnt take it anymore. Thanks.
Marco, you are so right. And this non-compliance issue is my concern too. Will I be able to find another physician? This whole situation is crazy. I mean I didn’t accuse him of anything or ask questions until the ‘non-compliance’ issue came up. I didn’t even know what non-compliance was and had to ask. Thanks.
Mom, I declined the offer to return is what happened and it was over the phone where the nurse called me later. I guess I should have gone, in hindsight, and would have if I reazlied he could dismiss me. It all seems very unfortunate. Thanks.

my mom has started with severe coughs 6 months after going on high blood pressure medication… A friend told me that she had this happen after 1 year on the high blood pressure medication and upon stopping the medication, the cough stopped.