Ever since my freakout when I smoked weed for the first time, by myself, with questionable weed, I have PANIC ATTACKS whenever I ingest any kind of psychoactive drug, Particularly Nicotine.
—
-I light a cigarette and have a small inhale.
-The buzz begins; Slight Euphoria, and a subtle change in perception like when you’re drinking and you go to turn your head, but the picture doesn’t adjust immediately.
-Then it gets stronger, slowly causing my inner monologue to start "What-If’ing."
–(this is where the panic attack starts)
—
—"What if this ‘buzz’ becomes too strong?"
—"What if my heart starts beating irregularly?"
—"What if I pass out?"
—"Could I die?"
—*I check my heart rate with my hand; Extremely high* (but this is due to the anxiety)
—*tunnel vision sets slowly in*
—*throws down the cigarette, gets up, trembling, goes to get a glass of water and the AAA(Anxiety Attack Antidote), my iPod.
—
‘Three Little Birds – Bob Marley’
—
So that’s it.
I cannot smoke without freaking out.
Is this a problem Phisiologically, or Mentally?
Is this a heart/lung/blood pressure problem?
Or is this an Anxiety problem?
–
Whenever I attempt to convince myself during a panic attack that "It’s JUST anxiety and it can’t hurt you. It’ll pass; CALM DOWN."
I beging to wonder if this is indeed true, or if I truly have a:
-Heart Problem
-Lung Problem
-Blood Pressure Problem
—
I had previously been an infrequent smoker for almost two years.
I haven’t had any problems since my freakout with weed, which, as it happens, is strikingly similar to the Nicotine experience.
—
I am not currently a smoker, but hate the fact that my fear OWNS ME.
I am, as insane as it sounds, trying to "ween myself BACK onto nicotine" to cure my fears.
But fear not, I have an uncanny ability to control my addiction to Nicotine. ![]()
–
PLZ HELP??